((((Doodi)))) I'm sorry, it sounds like a really dark place.
What you say seems A LOT like what my H goes through. He has depression tendencies and low esteem issues. If you wouldn't mind explaining what you mean that you get side swiped?
With us, it's like we both start opening up and suddenly it goes into an overload and gets "too good" and everything goes plummeting down. He just turns upside down. Some times I feel like no matter what I say, we'll still end up in a fight.
I know I'm useless at cheering people up, but I hope you bounce back from the depression soon. You're doing so well at working on yourself and trying to straighten your issues out and your help to others here is invaluable. Hugs again!
Don't stress about cheering me up. I'll shove my feelings back in the box soon enough. It's all good.
As for me being side swiped. That's how I feel today. Last night, he was telling me things were getting better, that he acknowledged some of the issues we've had, that he is willing to wait for me to work through my issues, etc...and then today he says I'm not trying, that he is doing all the work, that I'm leading him on and that I need to make up my mind NOW.
The little arguments are frustrating but I can normally work through those. But when I've been focused on nothing but my issues and he says I don't care, that I'm not doing anything. It kills me.
"I feel like Rocky in the fifteenth round, beaten beyond recognition, when I realize, the only person I've been fighting for is...myself."
