He probably has never thought about what actions might help me to feel more loved, and it would probably be helpful for me to read the book so I can determine mine and use that to help him understand what I need. He is not likely to be willing to read the book.
You might be surprised once he feels like is really loved. I know that it took months of giving my wife the things she needed to feel loved, before she could do things to make me feel loved. But it happened.
Also you might want to after you have worked on making him feel really well loved work on getting a life. MWD and others describe this. I have a slightly different take on GAL. I think it is both to reach my full potential, but also to make me more desirable in the eyes of my spouse. I feel that a good GAL program can achieve both of these.
Good luck to you and try to see if he might go to either some form of counceling in the future and/or to a marriage encounter weekend. If not, the Gottman 5.5 hrs per week is pretty good stuff.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
