My counselor said the same gist to my W when she said she shouldn't have had to ask me for things.
Wow really?!
Can I share one more thing in case it helps? Another reason I'd be scared to ask my H to help or support me in ways I needed, was because he simply had never had done it that way before. So I thought - well that must mean if I asked him for that, I was essentially asking him to be someone he wasn't. I figured it would be disrespecting him to do so - that I'd be asking him to be someone he's not.
So it went unasked; and therefore unanswered (until my IC clued me in of course).
Yep! My wife thinks I'm a shy introvert who can't socialize in a large group. This is largely based on one H.S. reunion thing in her small town where I didn't know anyone, and they were all pretty insular.
She's held this notion about me for 12 years, and because of it either avoided social events or felt she needed to babysit me at these events.
When I tell my friends and coworkers this, to say they're surprised is an understatement. I get along with most of my coworkers, make friends at new places easily, and am at ease with myself.
But confirmation bias is a bitch. All you see is what reinforces your preconceived notions.
And expecting the WAS to see (much less believe) in anything else is not realistic. My wife sees my changes, but when push comes to shove, she remembers that event from 12 years ago...
