I hope my sitch helps you in someway, then I would know something good came from this chaos.
On on another note, I told my H that I wouldn't say ILY until I meant it the way he needed me to mean it. I've tried to be open about everything and normally my moods are brought on my some deep conversation that he initiated...so he tends to know why. I've never said we shouldn't have gotten married, what I've said is I was a stronger person I would have brought this up alot sooner.
But I'll keep posting my random, confused thoughts and if you think I can help...ASK. I'll give you my honest answer. But be warned, I'm no Vet just odd man out since I'm the WAS.
Doodi
My H always made a point of only saying ILY when he meant it and I know that when he says it, he really means it. There are times when we have meaningful talks, everything goes great and I feel like we're working through things and progressing. And then it crashes. We get into a phase where every conversation ends with him saying things like the above, doesn't want to work on things, thinks it will never change, says that he doesn't trust me and our marriage is a mistake. I don't know if he really means it but I think that these are the things he feels at that moment. He says them in a hurtful uncaring way, sometimes gets rude. We restart conversations but they end up like this after a short time. I pull away more and more. Eventually there's a breakthrough, we stop fighting and it's better and better again until it crashes.
This confuses me, it's mixed signals all over the place. If you have some insight into this, and how to break the cycle, it would be great!
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
