AJM I appreciate what you are saying. HAve you read my last three threads? Ironically, I actually think it's judgemental of you to assume I have not seen his side. I tried for the past year and a half to listen, have empathy, rebuild trust. I have been completely understanding for the past year and a half of his feelings, actions, and words. I have loved him from afar, letting him do his thing and working on myself. What has it gotten me? Abuse. IF anything, it's time I got more in reality and set some boundaries. Sorry, but you are way off.
I tried to meet his every expectation and need. For nothing.
"What I hear in your posts is that you don't respect him. That you want him to be a certain way that fits your vision and it doesn't sound like you leave a lot of room for him to be him. Add in the other issues that may be present (addictions) and it's small wonder he doesn't want to come back. "
- This is just plain mean when you don't even know me. -Sorry, but if there are drugs around my child, especially if the pilot of a plane is addicted, I will take measures to protect my son. I can love and understand my H's pain. But I won't watch him bring my son down with him.
Thanks for the input, however, you obviously put a lot of time and thought into posting on this thread but quit making assumptions of me that you have no idea about.
Allen, I love this article. Thank you. The discussions here of the last few days are helping stop blaming myself for everything and see reality more clearly. It's what I'm seeing - that so many of his "complaints," while some are based in reality, are exaggerated by the OW in the picture. And the fact that he will berate me for these things but not be willing to work on them is also from the OW presence. IF he was done, he would have told me so and been done.
