am trying to detach, but an email to my W does not show detachment it shows her that I am still hovering around. So what is her incentive to slowdown her running or change her direction?
Boy, I'm gonna tell ya this real slooooow.
When you stop trying to change her "direction" (change the way she feels, thinks), you're where you need to be.
The problem isn't sending a silly or simple email.
The problem is that I don't see how you could ever actually talk to her the way you are right now and have it turn out some way other than horrible
Can we change the subject? Do you like dryer sheets? I do. They smell good and make my towels very soft.
Last edited by TimeHeals; 09/09/1007:18 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
I don't know, but I sure will be relieved. I still think acknowledging her b-day is counter to letting her go. But if an email warms her then that would be good as well. Which path should I take.....I am still at a loss.
My sitch is different in that I have no contact at all with my W. Last Thursday was a shock when she emailed me and I still think it was because I went dark and let her go.
So it's been a week. Time is what you've got plenty of.
I lived with my W with 4 months of not talking. She only came home to sleep after drinking herself to a incoherent blob.
I let her be.
I know it's a little different but you actually have bit of an advantage. She's gone and without you. Mine now is making my detachment finale pretty hard being all nice and cute.
Thank you. I know that what I said is a double edge sword in that the spouse can be abusive or that emotions control the interaction and in essence push eachother farther away.
I know the script of the WAW in that she is detaching. It is probably a gift that she is giving me w/o really knowing it in that is gives me time to collect myself, detach or at least be in a better position of that when she does start moving (if ever).
I bought the Bounce dryer bar that adheres to the inside of the dryer. It lasts for about 100 loads, and you don't find the sheets wedged into your clothes.
I agree that my W is actually giving me a gift w/o knowing it. I know menatlly I am not ready to face her. So I will keep GAL work on detaching and when the time comes hopefully be in a better place mentally to communicate with her.
I prefer Downy with Fabreeze...sheets make me itch.
I bought the Bounce dryer bar that adheres to the inside of the dryer. It lasts for about 100 loads, and you don't find the sheets wedged into your clothes.
I hate when you're in a public place and the dryer sheet drops out of your pants.