My wife and I met when I was 22 and she was 21. She had just broken up with her first serious boyfriend. She was my first serious girlfriend. At the beginning we were madly in love. We partied together, practically moved in with each other and stayed in bed all day having sex. Life was great. However, we met at school, but our families were from opposite sides of the country. I told her upfront that I was moving back with my family at the end of college. She accepted that. When graduation came, she got a job close to the college, while I decided to move home. We did the long distance thing for three months, but then she decided to move here. I told her that I didn't want her to move specifically for me, but I know that she did. That was OK though, I really loved her and didn't want to lose her. When she moved here, I got the opportunity to run a restaurant. So we uprooted once more, which she wasn't happy about, and moved to another town to pursue my dream. After a few months, which were quite fun together, the restaurant didn't work out and we moved back to the city where my family lived. At this time, she got a really great job that she was very excited about, but I decided I wanted to go to graduate school. I was afraid to start in a new city, so I encouraged her to come with me. She put up a bit of a fuss, and cried, saying she didn't want to lose her job, but the job was unstable anyways, and I convinced her she should go back to school as well and pursue something with more stability. So we moved once again to a new city and relied on each other to get through it. I flourished, however she hated the new place. Our relationship became very rocky and she finished her program early and moved back with my family and got another job. Six months later, I moved back with her and we got an apartment together. We were both very happy initially, but then things got tense again because I wasn't working and wanted to go out all the time with my friends. She stopped wanting to do the fun things we had always done together and became very serious. She wanted to start building a future together and to get married. I thought us getting married would make her happy again. However, it didn't. I was accepted into a professional school and we once again moved across the country. Here I flourished yet again, but she couldn't work and was very unhappy. At the same time, I made some mistakes, had an EA and called some call girls that she found out about. She tried to leave, but I begged her to stay. For the last year, things have gotten progressively worse. I was stressed in school, she was resentful towards me, and we had several blow out fights. At the height of my stress, I told her I couldn't do this any longer. She moved back with her parents. For four months we continued to talk every day, but we fought, she begged to come home, but couldn't see my perspective. Finally, she seems to have cooled. One weekend, she didn't answer my phone calls. It terrified me that she might have met someone else. I agreed to at least be open to a reconciliation, however I don't know if my heart is in it. We spent a fun weekend together, except for the last night she was here, when she again laid out an ultimatum: that I make up my mind one way or the other, or she will make it up for me. That upset me to almost the point of tears. I don't know what I want. I know that I want time to see if we can reconnect, but I also don't know if time will heal everything. I don't want to be responsible for her happiness and I want her to find happiness on her own. I also think that I might want my freedom. I've known no other girl from her and I wonder what else is out there. Things seem easier in other people's relationships, they don't have the baggage and resentment that our relationship seems to have. I know I've wronged her and been selfish, and I know that I'm doing that now, but I honestly don't know what I want. Maybe I want her to make the hard decision so I no longer have to feel guilty for breaking her heart.
