Personally I will feel horrible that is why I have been aganizing over this, but I feel it is necessary to do something that my W will not expect (180) and maybe she doesn't expect it now and will not care....who knows. All I can do is base my actions on what I know about my W. NCU I will feel horrible, but if it assists me DB then it will be worth it.
I need to detach from my W. I am still trying to wrap my head around that concept because to me if I detach means that I don't care and if I don't care then why am I on the site and trying to DB. As I mentioned before there are posters on this site who still have a candle lit for a spouse who has been gone for years...have they detached?
I agree and I have picked a course of action. I am staying consistent with letting go...if I can just get my heart around that then I will be successful no matter what happens. However, you do have to monitor the reaction from your spouse and adjust accordingly or risk driving the train off the tracks. Right now I am just trying to get movement from my W. And Yes I am focusing on GAL.
Trust me, you'll never get your heart around that. Your heart will lead you astray now.
Personally I will feel horrible that is why I have been aganizing over this, but I feel it is necessary to do something that my W will not expect (180) and maybe she doesn't expect it now and will not care....who knows. All I can do is base my actions on what I know about my W. NCU I will feel horrible, but if it assists me DB then it will be worth it.
I need to detach from my W. I am still trying to wrap my head around that concept because to me if I detach means that I don't care and if I don't care then why am I on the site and trying to DB. As I mentioned before there are posters on this site who still have a candle lit for a spouse who has been gone for years...have they detached?
Mindreading...
And I bet your wife expects the card.
And detachment doesn't mean you don't care. It's too complicated to put into one sentence. Try this link:
The key is getting ahead of her on the detaching curve. Once you think you will be OK without her the real changes begin, this is the "dropping the rope," no expectations, and you walking away. This done in a healthy way is productive. Coach
The WAW has a huge head start on detachment. They planned it for a long time. You have to catch up with her and fast.
Mind reading and knowing my W and her past actions is all I have right now. Most everyone on this site have either their spouse living with them or have childre so there is interaction between the two spouses.
I am GAL (gym, acting class and cutting the cable to the tv...went rock climbing over the weekend). I feel that I have to do something for the M. I layed out my reasons why I am not sending b-day greeting. Sure it is based on mind reading and that is based on me knowing my W. She has kept all of the emails that I have sent her since the seperation (I know for the L, but there is nothing incriminating in them).
