As an engineer I tend to over analyze things, but I am trying not to allow emotions to creep in, which would be detremental to my sitch. I have decided not to send a b-day email to my W for the following reasons:
1. I told her that I was letting her go last week. Therefore, by not acknowledging her b-day with an email my actions correspond to my words. My words are solid and truthful...which I will need to develop trust with her in the future.
2. I always did something nice for her on her b-day. She knows that I want out M to work so she will expect me as the LBS to at least send her a card as a peace offering. This should get her to stop running and look back.
3. It appears (if I am reading my W's temperature) that every time I go Dark and let her go that I get some movement from her. The first time I did I overreacted with 4-5 emails, thus pushing her back. This time I have not sent any emails other than to let her know that her mail was in the box, which she requested that I do.
4. I know my W and she is very sentimental and has kept (even today) all of the letters, emails, cards, gifts and petals of flowere that I sent to her. Even though she is a WAW I would be surprised that this will not affect her.
5. I need to detach as much as I can and focus my energy on me and making me a better person. I know that I have been over reacting to this sitch, but I needed clarity. The key is to have my plan and contingency plans in place if and when she moves. If she asks me "why I forgot her b-day?" My response cannot be seen to her as defensive. I would say "I could see how that might have hurt you, what could I do to make it better?" It's that whole communication thing (Sender/Receiver) that we fail at.
So this is my thinking abd strategy, feel free to poke holes at it.
