I'm fairly new to this exposure thing, and guess what, it's not working......YET! It's driving them closer together. But I went in to this with my eyes wide open. I knew it would drive them closer. However, it's adding an element to their A that they really don't want ME I'm doing everything I do in a very responsible manner. I'm not name calling (believe me I want to) I'm not threatening and everything I do and say, I'm okay if it's "held against me in a court of law" By keeping the situation a secret you are robbing yourself of the support you need. By keeping the situation a secret, you are saying that you will enable this A. I feel very good about the steps I've taken and the advice I've gotten.
The ONLY thing I would have done differently (and this is more NC than exposure) is talked to him when I wasn't shaking. I would have sat down and done it in a little more "professional" manner - however...I can't change that and I couldn't take another second of the A being in my face. I was starting to feel uncontrollable rage and hatred. I was throwing things at him and saying horribly hurtful things to him.
It sucks, all the way around. I hope that this works. I have faith that it will. His most recent letter to our 3rd party stated I drug him through the dirt, that he doesn't see how this was working on the marriage - it was done to beat him down. I VERY respectfully came back with WHY I did it.
He should be the one that feels shame....not me.
Me:38 H: 45 OW:34 S:4 Bonus S: 12 and 16 2nd M for both Together 12 yrs M: 6 EA suspected: 5/10 confirmed: 7/2/10 Separated: 8/12/10
I'm doing everything I do in a very responsible manner. I'm not name calling (believe me I want to) I'm not threatening and everything I do and say, I'm okay if it's "held against me in a court of law" By keeping the situation a secret you are robbing yourself of the support you need. By keeping the situation a secret, you are saying that you will enable this A. I feel very good about the steps I've taken and the advice I've gotten. 
