Early Parole from the MLC Chain Gang?????

[MHL]

It was however.....

Still a temperature check.

I see your Faith dwindling down Swiss....Like you were hinging this temp check as a last hope to what you have been standing for.

Yes, it very much was a temperature check. I don't feel like I did any damage or pushed her away, but today I recognize it as part of an internal struggle for me.

This movement I have had for the last 3 or 4 weeks trying to identify what is going on in me. I think it is the process of letting her go. I think I want to let her go but struggle with how to mesh that with this love for her that remains.

I think I am realizing that this Love for her will never go away, it is far less of a love then a had for her before. I think that I am trying to reconcile letting go while still having these feelings.

As far as faith goes, yes it is dwindling. I still hope that it will work out and that one day she will wake up and come back, but I don't believe it will definitely happen anymore.

Maybe that is the difference between Faith and Hope......

Brings to mind Corinthians 13:1-13, (yes Grit, I know you quoted it a couple of pages back) Gotta think on this one a bit.

Why are you standing now ?

I think that I need to go back out to that prison gate and step beyond the fence line. I think that I am realizing that I am "Free" to make a choice, to stand or not. I am finding this freedom a little disconcerting in that I am probably going to be asking myself everyday, that question, "Why are you standing now?". I may wake up one morning and find that I am not.

BTW, I am a noob on the football thing so, yes I may need help.

Also, as I read your post something stood out....

You were trying to "talk your way out"
You were trying to TELL her how you have changed

Missher - you were trying to TELL her how much you've grown, changed, etc - Since when does this work.

Eric, funny you say this because as I was talking to her yesterday I realized it and then just tried to shut up. I actually chuckled a little at myself while I was talking to her.

Was talking to someone last night and I posed the question to them that she still has a piece of my heart and I want it back from her, but I can't get it. Sooooo, if I can't get it how could I ever give all of me to someone else eventually???

My friend suggested that while my W may always have that piece of my heart, the void that is left in my heart will eventually grow back and my heart will be whole again even though my W still has a small piece. I thought it was an interesting analogy to that of a plant.

Eric, I will be thinking about you today....take care.

Cheers