I don't think I will sitting around waiting for a response. I have been reading the threads of the WAS and it appears that they are as confused as the LBS. They know they want out, but over time especially when they have distanced themselves from their spouse they get confused as to why.
TH I appreciate your comments...I really do, but reading your thread it appears that you did not completely detach yourself from your W. And there are posters on here that have candles lit for their spouses for years, which means that they have not detached either.
We are all here for advice and council from the vets and believe I thank god for them and this site! The privledge of being here has kept me sane the last few weeks. My ultimate goal is that I plan to win the war and save my M...I am not giving up!
So as with any good general you have to work on multiple fronts: 1). I am detaching as fast as my heart and mind can. I realize that there is a good chance that I might not get what I desire. 2). So I realize that GAL is the most important action that I can take away from here because I have full control of that. 3). I am reading ALL posts to determine what worked and what didn't work to develop a strategy so my W and I can at least have a dialogue before we hit the slipper slope of D.
Number 3 is where I am stuck because of the conflicting advice. MrBond suggested that I should send an email to help develop trust from W because that is what got me in this sitch in the first place. I was totally committed to not acknowledging her b-day because I let her go (in words but not from my heart) and that would coorespond to letting her go. But I do not know how that plays out (if it does) in the WAW mind. My W is very sentimental and has kept everything email and all (even now) and knowing her I think it would impact her one way or the other (mind reading...I know).
