P.S. For the record, your answer should have been:
Wife: she asked if we could start with some small dates, because she could let the wall of guilt go. She says she needs to cut the EA.
WF: "I'm afraid it's not that easy anymore. I have a lot to think about."
What I was trying to get across here, WF, is the basic concept of "Never just jump at the first offer," (SOLUTION-BASED), and also the very important distinction that needs to be communicated to a wayward spouse, and that is this:
Often, a wayward spouse will basically give you a "Promise me things will be different, and I will end my affair" declaration, instead of the needed "I will end my affair, and we can work together, unencumbered by a third person, to make our marriage different and better than before." The first, WRONG way, will sometimes be in the form of "Let's just try dating each other again," or it may be all about moving back into the home without conditions, or it may be something else, but it's designed to very skillfully keep both plates spinning on their sticks -- you and OM. All you'll do is move from him as #1 and you as the backup plan, to you maybe as #1 and HIM as the backup plan, but there's still no real commitment to END THE AFFAIR, and to put the no-contact/transparency system in place that's needed to keep it from re-igniting.
