Abusive spouse accuses "WAW" as "the" problem

[freespirit]

Nice to meet you bridge; nice to be here with you; as far as giving LBS advice; my dear husband has not "heard" what I have said for YEARS...for example. I minister in music (as well as other areas), I sing and write music for the church to worship the Lord...well...isolation was always present with my dh; in 10 years we "left" 5 churches (1st that I was attending when we met; we left 3 times; one church I found and lead worship 2 years, he told me to leave and another small and faithful church where I was in ministry for one year before he "told me to leave" )for no "good" reasons; all because they "do things differently" from him (btw: we haven't found anyone whom he agrees with).

Since separating, I have returned to BOTH the original and latter churches. I have my congregations praying for my husband and our marriage; my husband has REFUSED to counsel with eithr of them and told my Pastor that he "will not take any of his counsel" Now, any LBS reading this might obviously see my husband's disrespect for me; or he might see that my husband has the "right as the man" to "head" over me...with that, I don't have anything to say to an LBS other than if you want to control someone's life; try controlling your own first. My poor husband is so disillusioned due to his own deception; I have tried to talk with him...

Why I left???YEARS of disrespect, dishonor and demeaning and discounting comments and behavior that was so stressful that I STOPPED living a vital life and began to "squeeze myself into his oppressive box" to try to live my life as being MORE pleasing to him...I will NEVER do this again.

Hi Freespirit,
I am glad you are away from an abusive relationship, they are toxic and suck the life out of you. I speak from experience.

It sounds as if you are angry and I can certainly understand why.
I hope you can stick around and give advice to LBS who want to know why we leave and what we are looking for.

There is a AWAW in Newcomers (Dodie) that could use some support from those that have been there, done that as she tries to find her path.

I hope that you find peace as you travel yours.

Bridge