Perhaps you guys are right. Perhaps it's a conditional response to whenever I get an email from her or my attny I jump. Perhaps her response is very pleasant. Or perhaps I know how she operates and can tell what she's doing.
See with her it's never just 'ok sure, let's try it'. It's always tit-for-tat and she tends to bend everything to get something out of something.
She wants me to keep buying her expensive health insurance because she said she paid one lousy doctor's bill for DD LOL. Then two weeks later the bill comes to my house because all she paid was a $10 co-pay! The actual bill is $65 since DD hasn't met her PPO deductible (DD and I never really have to see the dr much). The PPO plan is what Mrs. Romeo likes, had we not had a PPO plan there wouldn't be a deductible. So she brings the check back to me with half of the payment and tells me to pay the other half. Could she've said...holy sh!t he pays me thousands a month, buys me the expensive health plan I want (not him) maybe I'll just pay this damn bill like I told him I would. Nope! Is the amount a big deal? no, is she acting within her legal rights? sure but its a matter of principal.
Just like she decided DD *had* to go to private school (she's starting first grade) and if I didn't agree with her she'd force the issue in courts to send DD to a school in her city which is an hour (back and forth) away from me which would add to my already ridiculous 130 mile commute to work. Work that I have to go to to pay her thousands a month (long story there too) while she works as a front desk person at some 20 people company when she's worked for large corporations in IT as a project manager making 4 times as much. Yes she's very reasonable...as long as it's for her own reasons.
Then last week she single handidly decided and told me that DD will be going to her old day care (again near her) on the days her private school is closed. So since she loves to go 50/50 on everything I told her fine I would compare the number of days the private schoo's closed vs. a govt. school and pay her 50% for those days the rest she's responsible for because she wanted to send her to the private school. Her exact response: "We're splitting the cost for all school year closed days" - Yes master!
She also told me for the last two days DD has to go to her current school this week (before she starts her new school) I have to make the payments and to work it out with them. This was her week to pay but she's adamant it's not despite my telling her when I wrote the last check. Fine, it's for two lousy days I took care of it.
Then I suggest something in regard to DD's time split schedule and she had to bring in her needs and wants again! She's willing to try it but she wants to make sure DD stays with her when her mom visits...and nevermind who's paying for her mom's ticket because I bet my spousal/child support check is. Of course she's using her typical pleasant ways to ask the first time. Now if I put up resistence then she'll threaten or black mail me with something else.
On top of that she tells me that everytime I get rid of something (not just DD's stuff) I should tell her. How about I should nothing! nada. no more.
But it's how she operates and this is just the tip of the iceberg...the iceberg is deep, cold and massive beneath the surface.
It's her feeling of entitlement towards everything.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
LOL. I need to take a break at work or something. Haha.
lol right? I ask myself that sometimes.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
Actually, I agree with KML that overall this is textbook good co-parenting. You know I'm struggling with it and probably wouldn't have liked her email either.
The one part that was a dig was:
"but I have asked you several times that if you're going to give stuff away if you could please let me know"
That was designed to push your buttons. Don't let it.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
CTH, you're right. I recognize how she subtly pushes my buttons and very good at it so I come here and vent. You guys either cheer me up or drop a few 4x4s on me. Either way I get past it.
I try to be very matter of factly in my responses but deep down I feel that no matter what she keeps getting her way, she always wins, when the hell is it going to be my turn? Most LBSs suffer this way at the hands of the WASs. A DB friend comes to mind where her WASs went to unbelieveable lengths to get it his way. It's not a competition but after going through the ringer and emotionally getting over her I had hoped that I would be in a more powerful position. The legal laws are utter BS that only work in favor of those that don't give a sh*t about them. My only hope is karma...I don't wish her bad things but I don't wish her well.
Kat, I'm sure the D is getting nearer I have no idea when it'll be final. It's another icky topic for me because of the financial burden from the legal fees standpoint but yes I am ready to get it done and over with. Wish I could get one in the mail tomorrow skipping all the legal BS.
Last edited by ImprovedRomeo; 09/08/1010:02 PM.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
I read back a bit on her prior interactions. The school stuff? I don't think she can legally force you to pay half to send her to a private school. That's what public school is for. In your case, I can't wait for the ink is dry on the settlement and then you can tell her to **ck *ff on stuff like that.
My STBXW doesn't try that stuff. She wants to be friends. It's me that resists.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
I read just the last page. Looks like you have to *establish very firm and permanent boundaries* with this sort of self-centered woman who constantly generates conflict. Mine was (still is)like this so I think I know what you must be going thru'. For these cases the legal system may not do you justice. But given what it is, make sure your L is doing the best job he or she was hired for and that you do not cave in to unreasonable demands.
