Actually, they rarely let go of it and if they do not process it thoroughly when they are children
Again, what does that mean?
I'll tell you why I ask: for over a decade, many states dictated that first responders be debriefed by grief counselors who would ask them to go over their experiences in the weeks following especially truamatic events.
It was an unspoken and untested assumption that this helped.
When studies were finally undertaked (within the last 8 years), it was discovered that this only helped a minority of these responders, and that it actually prolonged grief and PTS for the majority (the control groups were from states where no such counseling was required).
Your children learn part of their coping skills from watching you and how you handle things. And if they ask, they learn from listening to how you handle things. Something to think about.
TH
I know you mean well, but the analogy just doesn't work when it comes to children. The issue is not about coping skills, with them, it is more about identity issues and security. In the case of non-destructive relationships, when the parents divorce it shakes their very being. They can't understand how you can just stop loving someone like that and worry that one or both of their parents might stop loving them, too. It's complicated with children.
