The LL book may help with that. Remember actions not words.
Beleive none of what they say and 50% of what they do!
You can talk to him all you want but believing anything he says is a whole different story. Now after I say that the best strategy (if I dare call it that) is to detach/NC/dark/dim. It keeps you out of his line of fire, and protects you. It also has the added benefit of helping him to look within rather than external sources for his problems. At this time it may push him closer to the OW which will help to blow up that relationship(like you call it).
