MP, I can understand the objectivity, which I have none at this moment. If and when my sitch progresses I am not sure if I will have the energy I guess that is were GAL and the treadmill comes in...
I am not comparing my marriage ending to anything. I was participating in a general conversation about ALL marriages ending and the process the LBS goes through.
Nobody is looking back - we are sharing what we did right, wrong, obstacles we faced, things that impeded us from a rapid heal and a host of other things that in one fashion or another the majority of forum members have experienced.
Every can and will move on - it's either that or die. Nobody is debating that. There is no time frame though, it's individual and more is not less and less is not more.
One can learn all the tools on how to move on and flourish but everybody works on a different learning curve to actually implement them and make them work.
So to say it's "too long" is really just adding pressure to an already pressure filled situation.
You had a very short marriage with no children. I had a much longer marriage than you and I am a decade younger than you are. Should I declare things are naturally "easier" for you simply because your marriage was short lived? That would be crappy of me, no?
we all know that everyone handles and copes in their own way and own time frame. To make such a generalization is insane.
My perspective on this whole thing is that those who learn to detach and move on quickly and lovingly have the best chance to R.
Personally, I feel I took too long to get to where I am now. If I was in my current state of mind 8 months ago things would be different.
I don't regret anything I did, I am human and made mistakes.
The whole process has made me grow into a better person, and for that I'm thankful for.
Once people "get it" they know it. It is different for everyone.
Stats shmats,you can prove anything with stats. 62 percent of the people know that!- Homer Simpson
Last edited by gr8 day 2B alive; 09/08/1006:35 PM.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Every can and will move on - it's either that or die. Nobody is debating that. There is no time frame though, it's individual and more is not less and less is not more.
And what was the statistic--real hard data--that bothered you?
That more than 2/3rds of genocide survivors are happy and fully functional in 6-24 months?
That's just the findings of the only studies ever conducted. What makes these people more resilient than others? Why do 1.5% never seem to move on?
Perspective. Some people cherish their pain. They hold onto painful memories instead of accepting them as the teaching tools these experiences can be. They don't take much time to count their blessings and plan for their future. They spend a lot of time thinking about past hurt, resentments, anger, and so on.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
I get that my WAW is way ahead of me in detaching and I am just now accepting the fact that I have to as well. I see detachment as that it is easy for me to clearly advise on someone else's sitch because I am not invested (attached) to it. So I need to get there in my own sitch so that I can make clear decisions...no monkey brains regardinng b-day emails ;-)
