Not sure where to start or end, WAW - #2

[A_goodman]

John,

Something that I have found effective is mood mirroring. I think that I was guilty of the attitudinal yo-yo that you've been trying to figure out. I think when you can seperate your OUTWARD mood from all the emotion swirling around your head, you will have an easier time not trying to figure out how to act based on mind reading and supposition.

It's very easy. if she is pleasant, you be pleasant. If she is brooding, leave the area and let her stew in her own swill. If she's bitchy, lay down the law. BTW, the law is: "I don't appreciate the way you are treating me. So until you feel like being civil, I will be doing:_____." Then walk away brother. The first few times, she will probably follow you and keep harping. Not a bad idea to reitterate that you value yourself more than to allow yourself to be disrespected in your house. the conversation is OVER. Come back when you want to discuss whatever it is in a civilized manner.

It wil be hard not to puff up or be a dick, but after a few times, you'll be able to do it with polish. AND you will become the alpha dog in your house.

Once you start leading in these small ways, the other ways will start to become clearer. This is going to be fundamental if you are going to take on the monumental things you are talking about today. Otherwise, you're going to get rope-a-doped in the first round.

You have a few days until the mythical deadline. Yes, I know it MIGHT make all the difference and set you on the path to reconcilliation, but if I were you, I'd look at it the way she obviously is, as a DEADLINE. So start today. Lead in every encounter with her. YOU decide how things will be or she can figure her own arrangements. When you go there, decide that YOU are going to get what you can from it and move on. Forget about her. If she wants to be free to leave, let her find a way to make that a reality. If she chooses to leave, tell her "Ok. See you later". Then turn around and keep listening to the presentation.

She is so sure she has you wrapped around her finger, she even told you her end game. All the super villians do that right before they feed 007 to the chainsaw weilding sharks. It's their fatal flaw. They're always so sure that they have him dead to rights, that they stupidly tell him exactly how they're going to destry him. They underestimated him in every movie. Of course, he only got away because he was confident and always had a plan. So be 007 and show her that she messed up. Get your confidence up and now that you know what she's planning to do, come up with a plan.

Good luck man.