I have been told that there is no timeline for DBing and that a breakthrough could happen at any moment so I will not comment on taking OW on vacation. I do agree that you can only detach totally when feelings for your S are gone.
I plan to continue DB'ing for a while or until I feel that it is fruitless to continue. I believe if you truly value yourself and are truly detached you will realize that there is someone else out there who will value you as well and want to be with you.
Hurtin, I guess that was my point here. There is a lot of talk her about detaching, dropping the rope, setting them free. I think these are just external things but it is what you feel inside that really sets you free.
In my case there is absolutely no unnecessary contact, no snooping and no saying things for the sake of pacifying her. She was / is with OM. i am willing or prepared to be with OW but I still don't feel detached.
She thinks I'm detached, I think she is detached but we only know whats on our own minds and I know i think about her a lot more than i like to.
I am only trying to detach cause I am sure that the M is done and to protect myself. No Db tactics and no real thinking this will bring her back. That's why I don't mind taking OW on vacation and don't really care if she finds out.
so even if she approached me what is she going to say "I cant believe you took that OW on our vacation" LOL
