I finally sat down and read your thread. It is funny, but I was similar to you in many ways; insecure, low self-esteem, edited all of my W's papers for school (doormat), told her in so many words that I was afraid to lose her and put her on a pedestal. My W did not cook I was the bread winner, my W didn't want for nothing! I lost my value as a person and in her eyes as well.
I do have the intestinal foritude to show her that I am the cock sure guy that she met so many years ago. I have been working on GAL by going to the gym (went from 285lb 44/46 waist to 200 34/36lb waist) and I am feeling good! I took my boys rock climbing over the weekend, which something new and unusual for me. I do admit that I still do things thinking of the end game, but I think that is a natural progression and I realize that I must detach completely.
Last week I anganized about sending W a b-day card/email this week, but reading everyone's advice I have decided not to send anything. She wants me out of her life and I need to detach so why acknowledge her b-day. I hurt my W I know that, but she chose to WA and not work on the M. So why reward her, as you would say, "her B/S behavior."
However, I am not sure if I can continue on the roller coaster ride as long as many on this site have. Don't get me wrong, I love my W, but w/o kids and if she shows no interest in reconciliation then what is the point. I am vested 120% in busting the D, but I realize my value as a person and that there is someone out there who will appreciate and value me. I will continue with GAL so that I become the man that I should have been with my W and stay on this site for valueable coaching and for a few 2x4's when needed.
