Thanks so much for your responses. I have our therapy session in a couple hours and your comments will be helpful.
ML? She begrudgingly “allowed” me to have sex once with her about 6 months ago, during one of the most beautiful vacations alone together, after days of great conversation and walks around one of the most gorgeous cities....To be honest, part of me doesn’t even want her to have sex with me unless she is all the way in (no pun intended, well, maybe sort of....)
I understand her need for good conversation, intellectual discussion, passionate talks about politics, etc.
I have a MAJOR NEED for passionate sex, romance, general flirting and intimacy.
I certainly enjoy good conversation, fun times, intellectual discussion, passionate talks about lots of things besides politics and philosophy (2 themes that depress the hell out of me and ones that what I do offer as comments get rejected by her as totally amateur unvalid thoughts)
The HUGE difference here is that she gets her needs met every single f-ing day with collegues and friends (she is very social and has a tight group) and partially with me (can’t y’all tell I’m not a complete neanderthal yet?). I totally encourage her to go out with her buddies anytime she wants.
My need can only be met by her (at least what is socially acceptable), yet she refuses, forcing me into her celibate nightmare. She won’t even help me out with a HJ. Does this seem bizarre to anyone else?
As far as asking for a “bone” as incentive, forget it. I am definitely forbidden from requesting sex, looking at her when she’s naked, or even looking at her with “those eyes” until some unknown possibly non-existent date in the future.
Another interesting side note is that she has admitted to having had serious reservations just before we got married and has never really been attracted to my looks--I’m not her “type” (hey! I’m not a bad looking guy. Some women have told me that I am VERY physically attractive)
She just seems very immature, selfish and imbalanced. It just feels so wrong to become someone else just to follow her ever-changing personality. Why can’t she love me for the kind man that I am?
