She says that she will get a job after this legal S is completed. She wants "options" so that she can get as much custody as possible and if she has a job, that will set a precedence that will limit how much custody she can get.
This is exactly why you should file for divorce and get yourself in the best shape possible, don’t make it easy for her. I really think your best chances of saving your marriage is by playing hard ball from reading your post its pretty clear that what your doing is not working so try something different. I do know that you don’t want to end up in second place. From my limited perspective its better to negotiate from stronger position which you have, now but you could lose very easily. Just my thoughts.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
