I'm so happy you're finally getting out of limbo. It sounds like you're starting to breath again. It's been a long, long, 4 months to get to this place. Each day will get better, you'll gain more confidence, and the pain you feel when thinking about her will slowly go away.
Remember two things; you're the biggest role model in the life of your children, and they'll be so much happier as they see you starting to grow!
And do the right thing. You're not a doormat. I see your self-esteem and confidence building. And the best thing is that every little success you have will make you that much more confident.
