I strongly urge you to take a step back and really think about what you said.
You said your W *should* understand that it makes more sense to have an agreement in place prior to the court date. Next you said she doesn't want to be responsible for any of this.
Reaching a settlement on your own (or via mediation and not the court system) is a process that requires TREMENDOUS responsibility on both ends. Your W has proven via her actions (in the realm of settling and working with attnys) she is not interested in being responsible with you.
My H badgered me for close to year to "work with him". And finally I did. We finally reached a settlement, my attny put it together and sent it to his attny. Both of our attnys signed off on it and as per the judges orders went to court to put our settlement on the oral record (all of this is common procedure). Once the settlement is put on the oral record it takes the court system 2 weeks to make it "formal" then all parties must sign it again and it's done.
When the formal court ordered agreement arrived I signed it and at the 11th hour my H and his attny refused to sign it and we were back and square one. Because of this stunt my H and his attny pulled a trial date was set. I was then put the legal and emotional wringer of two weeks of costly trial preparation only to have my H contact me at 11pm the night before the trial was to begin to say he would sign the agreement and did not want a trial.
All in all I was put through the utter trauma of my H badgering me to the point I became physically ill, 20K in legal fees and two years of my life dedicated to this mess only to walk away with the same settlement I offered in 2008.
I know my experience was extreme however WAS who prefer to let the attny or courts handle things is giving you a clear signal they are not interested in "working with you".
Thanks for the advice CG. It will help me remember that it may come down to this in the end. I guess I am not proposing to work on this with my W directly, but through the attorneys. Rather than waiting until the court date for any progress to be made, I want my attorney to send proposals to her attorney and for them to accept, reject or counter them.
Because we have an agreement in mediation, there is no reason I can think of at this point not to file a motion with the court to enforce the agreement. Although my attorney did say that even if you agree in mediation, you can still change your mind. My question here is if I push too hard, will she change her mind about what she agreed to?
As I mentioned, at our last court date, we hadn't done ANY up-front negotiating through the attorneys. The attorneys met for 30 minutes, planned out my life and I was given 5 minutes to decide whether or not I wanted to accept what they had agreed to. That seems ridiculous to me and I do not want to be put into that position again.
So, my intention is to get as much of this as we can worked out through our attorneys before the court date, realizing that we still may end-up there like you did anyway.
Thanks again CG, your thoughts and suggestions are always appreciated.
