I strongly urge you to take a step back and really think about what you said.
You said your W *should* understand that it makes more sense to have an agreement in place prior to the court date. Next you said she doesn't want to be responsible for any of this.
Reaching a settlement on your own (or via mediation and not the court system) is a process that requires TREMENDOUS responsibility on both ends. Your W has proven via her actions (in the realm of settling and working with attnys) she is not interested in being responsible with you.
My H badgered me for close to year to "work with him". And finally I did. We finally reached a settlement, my attny put it together and sent it to his attny. Both of our attnys signed off on it and as per the judges orders went to court to put our settlement on the oral record (all of this is common procedure). Once the settlement is put on the oral record it takes the court system 2 weeks to make it "formal" then all parties must sign it again and it's done.
When the formal court ordered agreement arrived I signed it and at the 11th hour my H and his attny refused to sign it and we were back and square one. Because of this stunt my H and his attny pulled a trial date was set. I was then put the legal and emotional wringer of two weeks of costly trial preparation only to have my H contact me at 11pm the night before the trial was to begin to say he would sign the agreement and did not want a trial.
All in all I was put through the utter trauma of my H badgering me to the point I became physically ill, 20K in legal fees and two years of my life dedicated to this mess only to walk away with the same settlement I offered in 2008.
I know my experience was extreme however WAS who prefer to let the attny or courts handle things is giving you a clear signal they are not interested in "working with you".
