Need some encouragement

[kissak]

Thanks WCW...but I feel like its more than that. He seems to have lost all want...he is angry, I think that is because he is frustrated that his expectations havent been met.

Honestly the walls were starting to come down with me a month or so ago...but over the last 4 weeks, he is slowly handing me back the bricks one by one!!

He is pushing away so much already that I feel like anything I say or do, just pushes him further. I feel there is nothing I can do now but take care of me and my kids. I am very fearful of if he leaves again only for my kids sake. I will be fine. My daughter already has her opinion of her dad. She is 14. My son is getting there on forming his opinion too. He told me the other day that he didnt want his daddy to leave again (he is already fearing it) he said he didnt want to put up with that stupid crap anymore! Then he whispered to me "Mom, I dont think me and daddy are going to have a good father/son relationship when I grow up". It made me sad. It would hurt my H if he knew it, then he would get mad at our son for saying it!! If my H leaves again I am very afraid for my son. His R with his dad will be greatly hurt. He is 9 now. When this all started he was only 5. He is much wiser now.

I hate this. I feel like I am already in a defensive mode! Why after 6 months??? THings were good...or so I thought.

I am living with a man who wont talk to me, wont tell me what he wants...he wants me to "guess" what will make him happy! Will NOT go to a counselor with me, has a closer R with his cell phone than with me or his kids!!

UGH! Venting....

Im trying, really. I texted him this morning to let him know I was thinking about him and I was sorry work wasnt going well...his reply..."OK". I really dont know what to do now other than Nothing!

I have thought about asking him to just go stay with his parents for a couple of weeks to give us some space from each other....but I am afraid he would take it the wrong way. He takes everything I say the wrong way. He is SO angry with ME! I havent a clue why or what happened. I dont know if there is an OW now or what.

Sorry guys...just needed to get some thoughts out of my head today.


4 years...Im not happy. Im tired.