What is the best way to approach this now that I know it was a guy, not sure if ea, pa or both, but its a few months old and I dont know the guy, its an old college friend.
WF, below is the standard advice I give just about everybody. Since you already have proof of her cheating, I'd proceed directly to thinking about whether or not you want to try a "2a" or a "2b" approach. Click on the links and check out some of the other threads that will explain each one better; reasonable people disagree about which is the better way to go. What I like about "2a" is that you can still do "2b" if it doesn't work, but you really can't do it the other way around.
Puppy
"Puppy's Short Version, All-Inclusive Advice" for Waylayed Spouses Who Just Got Bombed"
1. Get proof (of whether or not there's OM/OW). Hint: There almost always is.
2. Do either:
2a. Aggressive affair-busting (see Allen A's posts over in Infidelity)
Those are the only two things I've seen work. If #1 turns up nothing, then proceed to #2b. And in the meantime, GAL your ass off, and become the better option. Best case, you'll attract them back, and at a minimum you'll become a better person that will be more attractive to SOMEBODY in your next relationship.
