So, I wondered for 4 days, whether or not I should tell my H about what my IC said (about my mother emotionally abusing me as a child... well, and frankly as an adult too). I was kind of afraid to. I was afraid he'd look down on me or pity me. I was afraid he'd be angry or disgusted with me. So I can't really say why I finally told him last night, other than despite the fear it just felt really odd not telling him. Once I did, he didn't say an awful lot, and it wasn't the most supportive comments I've ever heard, but at least he said something. When I repeated it back to him and said 'surely you didn't mean it the way it sounded', his eyes kind of went up and said quickly, 'no, no you're right, that's not what I meant'. But he didn't say much after, and I didn't know what to say either. I think I just changed the subject. There was a day, though, when he would have said nothing at all other than 'well I don't know what you want me to say'. So I guess something's better than nothing.
But here's my question. Should I have given him a suggestion as to what I would have hoped he'd say? I always wonder if guys look at that as helpful, or if it makes them feel like we're 'leading them around by the nose'? Any thoughts? Thanks in advance, FMV.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
