W came home rather early. I was looking at some apartments online and paid some of my bills.
After about an hour or so she came over to me smiled and said "So where would you like to go and have dinner?"
It wasn't "I want to go out, want to come?" or "I am going..."
I was hesitating a little, but I was hungry and there was nothing around the house. I did not want to play any games with her by not agreeing.
We head another nice evening talking and laughing. At some point in the conversation she said "I know you told me not to text you when I'm going to be late but I have a client to take out this Thursday - is it okay with you?" I said "I did not tell you to stop your life - quite the opposite. I asked you to live it like I was not always around. I wanted you to stop assuming that I'm always here to take care of the house while you get last minute ideas of going out with your friends. This is exactly what I'd like to hear - you telling me now, two days before and not 5:30 Thursday evening leaving me with no choice. Now I can either tell you, fine I will be home on time or no, I have something going also so we can work on the alternate plan. That's communicating and that's what is needed while I still live here with you. That's respect and it's all good."
She smiled, thanked me and we kept enjoying the evening.
Every time I drop the rope, she picks it up and hands it back to me. She wants me to leave but the above conversation was something that we would have if we decided to work on R. I set a single boundary yesterday about a single responsibility and the respect I wanted. She understood that and complied. It was not hard at all and there was no argument.
God I wish this could continue. It was all part of my plan B to start setting boundaries and communicating about all the things we haven't been able to talk about. But I have to let her go.
It's just so confusing. Or is she already seeing this as "letting go"?
The stupid boiler was coughing again. I have to temporarily fix it this evening. I did not bring up the conversation about the new one last night nor did W.
