Here's a story...of a very sad lady

[Dagny-2]

Thanks NCU, there is a weird sense of peace knowing that we aren't going through this alone, we aren't totally insane for what we feel and what we want. Often the advice on others' threads is so applicable to our own situation. I really get good vibes from yours!

So, had a 2 hour conversation with H. I learned the affair started this summer and she isn't married. He has taken me off two of the credit cards, so if I would have gone to use them today, I would have been quite embarrased. He has no trust in me becasue last time he left me and was paying for our mortgage and his townhome and I saved money, I was robbing him blind and therefore can't be trusted. Stupid me, never should have told him about the money. Now he wants half of it. Not sure what to do there, I have "money under the mattress" type tendencies, I thought he respected that and never made me put it in a mutual fund. He also told me that I didn't appreciate him for who he was and that OW does, she accepts him as he is. And, if the affair is discovered at work there is a chance he could be fired, he doesn't think so, but there is a chance. He also wants the divorce to be final on Jan 2 for tax reasons, so if he wants that timetable, he will have to file soon to get past the 90 day waiting period. Oh, she isn't M, so I said, good, you are only breaking up one family. And at some point I said with us being down there he gets to see his kids and have sex with his girlfriend. I stayed very calm and I think that was my only snarky comment I said out loud.

I also asked if he would be objecting to me moving back to PA, he said no, but he wants joint custody. Ok, what are you going to do in the summer, who will take care of them, what will you do when you have 11pm meetings at your work that is 35 minutes away. He said they are old enough to take care of themselves.

He asked me if I've been to L, I side-stepped the question and said I wasn't planning to file anytime soon. He wants us to go to L with a plan already laid out and that way we will save money. He has spent the night researching divorce-dad websites and learning the laws of both states.

What a night. Oh, forgot, he said some day I would find someone who I could "share my loving, caring, self with." I told him at my age I had a better chance of dying in a terroist attack! I'm going to scream. I really should sleep, I have a meeting with department heads and the VP tomorrow. Yikes!

Dagny