Quote: be confident in yourself, try to rely less on others for comfort, let them stew about on their own if they are unwilling to grow along with you. You really can’t force someone to love you, either they do or they don’t.
You are getting there, my man. Keep going...
Quote: there are lots of women that would really appreciate me. This, among other things, has giving me a lot of self confidence.
It's not what others think of you that is important. It is what YOU think of you. OF COURSE other women would appreciate you because you are WORTHY and DESERVING of appreciation. When YOU know this, you are reaching self-love.
You are finally getting to the point where you realize you can only be responsible for your half of the marriage. You have stopped carrying your wife's load, and she has noticed. She may bumble about for a time, trying to find her footing, but if you think she is truly, truly trying, then lovingly accept her efforts while lovingly maintaining and NOT BUDGING on your boundary.
I am so glad you have found a counselor with whom you are comfortable, and with whom you are finding your answers.
Quote: I think more than anything what will get my wife to wake up and make steps to improve things is me giving up
You aren't really giving up. You've just stopped doing her work. Big difference.
Quote: for her to see me at the end of my rope
Means you have drawn your line in the sand and indicates you are serious, you aren't budging, and you still love her. Ball's in her court.
Quote: willing to let go and yet making positive changes in myself, especially confidence-wise. It’s risky to step out that far, giving up, could backfire but hopefully she realizes that I’m serious about making change.
Great rewards require great risk. Seek your answers, love and accept yourself for the wonderful, incredible being you are. When you truly love yourself only then do you have love to share.
Keep on keeping on, AM. It's a hilly ride, but one that eventually evens out. Please post updates.
