What your wife did for you today was the same as what you did for her last week. On this score you are even. Both of you shined through when the going got tough and you needed to take care of each other. That is more important than the words "I love you".
Please stop worrying about Retrouvaille. What will be, will be. You will not control it and she will not control it and it will be alright. The reason I volunteer for the local Retrouvaille is to go there on Friday night, when the couples are arriving, and just smile at them, and tell them it will be alright. Everyone is frightened going in --- everyone. But it is not difficult. You will not have a spotlight shined on you, and you will not be interrogated. It will be a comfortable and warm and loving environment. It is a safe environment.
Your wife sounds like a nice person. She may not be sure of what she wants in life, but I don't believe she is trying to hurt you.
