I appologize for the big venting blowout on the DB.I have softened up a bit, since the wife seems to be making some effort and we have had some good talks. I’m down to 50/50 on whether we’ll separate after the holidays. We’ll just have to see how things go.
We have all been trying so hard to target the problem of no lib spouses that maybe we are missing the target. Does that make sense? I think Corri has been trying to pound this concept into us: be confident in yourself, try to rely less on others for comfort, let them stew about on their own if they are unwilling to grow along with you. You really can’t force someone to love you, either they do or they don’t.
I really started giving up on my marriage recently and realizing that there are lots of women that would really appreciate me. This, among other things, has giving me a lot of self confidence.
My wife has finally admitted that our sex life is a big problem and seems to be a little more willing to start working on it or start letting go of each other. Some days it feels like it is too late, other days I see hope. I know she knows that she will have a very difficult time finding a man that is as supportive and kind as I am, and one that doesn’t care about having a sex life. Realistically, it’s impossible. Maybe someday she will appreciate me for who I am, horniness and all.
Corri will be pleased to know that I finally got the insurance straightened out and starting seeing a shrink by myself, which feels like it is going to be fantastic. As soon as she(the therapist) said she understood that male sexuality has been horribly misunderstood and that sexual rejection is the most painful type anybody can go through...well, I knew she was going to be very helpful since she could understand what I was going through. She also just happens to be a Sexpert.
I think more than anything what will get my wife to wake up and make steps to improve things is me giving up, for her to see me at the end of my rope; willing to let go and yet making positive changes in myself, especially confidence-wise. It’s risky to step out that far, giving up, could backfire but hopefully she realizes that I’m serious about making change.
