OMG LH! I am so sorry for you! THat is absolutely awful. I can see where Allen's theory of affairs being addictions really fits in your case - if he can just carry on "as if" nothing were wrong in his M! How devastating! How are you coping? Big hug!!!
It's different for me as he started after moving out - but still I can so relate! I still dont believe, and because I haven't told you the context under which our M bombed you wouldn't know either, that he had OW previously. However, for almost a year, there was this "indecision" on his part...which kept me haning on, and although we didn't do all the things your family did together during this time, there was never a clear cut finality. He never said he missed me, but we were in MC to supposedly work on the M for five months - and of course even though he showed up, he never did work on much.
But YES! H blamed me, made me think I was crazy - TOLD me constantly that I was crazy (it's in my earlier threads), told me all the reasons this was my fault, in fact I started to believe I was crazy. AS you can see by the way I'm asking questions of Allen, I still struggle daily with feeling it's my fault.
I have not been able to be away from him for more than four days because I am scared to leave him alone iwth my son during "his time" due to some really bad situations that occured. You are fortunate to have been able to get distance enough to feel good about yourself again. I'm hoping if I can work out something legally, I'll never have to talk to him if I don't want to.
It was sheer agony being raged at for a year and a half, it's sheer agony the way he tossed our M away for some idiot girl, but to have to constantly see and talk to him is torture. It's even torture when he plays Mr. Nice Guy because I miss that part of him and yearn to have him back against my own better judgement. It's just so hard to detach.
