To answer your question - yep, its usual for the WAS to never contact the LBS to see if all is ok. Mine has not once in three years and both me and my son have a muscular disease. You're lucky he asks the kids. And yes, it's their relationship. Your children have told you they prefer not to have much contact. That is what they need to do right now.
Look, dont go dim or dark or anything else for any other reason then what is best for YOU. It shouldnt be a ploy, it shouldnt be for the kids, it shouldnt be to get a reaction fron your h. It is for you to heal and move forward.
Honey, he doesnt contact you because you're the problem in his mind. Now let me ask you something. Do you really need his help or are you capable of doing what needs to be done on your own? My bet is you are more than capable.
And why do you want to have a meeting with your H? What purpose would it serve? If he wanted to talk to you about the kids, he would. They are not young. You need to let them figure out their own relationship.
IB, you need to heal. You need to dig deep and figure out what you fear, what you're holding onto. You need to realize all the good things we see about you. You need to find your strength and realize that though you may want your h, you dont need him.
And that's how you have to live your life - first and foremost for yourself and your children. And if your h was to move toward you in the future, he needs to see the woman of strength and courage that we see. The woman who has faced her demons, who has become the person she was meant to be.
Really, I want that for you, not for him. He has his own path to follow.
You begin yours. Stop looking over your shoulder, sweetie. Look ahead. Start living your life. For YOU.
