WAW left on Independence Day and not communicating

[anniemc]

I guess the reason that is is letting go is difficult is that my W did not pull away from until the day she told me that she was leaving me.

Suffice it to say that I totally know where you are coming from. You know what you need to do but it's so incredibly hard for any variety of reasons - you didn't know how she felt (she didn't communicate like she should have). Take a look at Michelle's book and reread the last resort technique on page 124+ - particularly page 127 with the listing of what you (we) need to stop. I was the case study on all that.
For what it's worth, I'm not sure that you are "there" yet. You will know when you've hit your rock-bottom. And, it would be no surprise that you didn't hit it (to ultimately make your turnaround) because this came to you as a surprise. So, keep re-reading her book and you will truly know it when you do. Just my two cents