Ah, you sweet man, I have sorely missed you. I am so sorry to hear of your pain.
But guess what? I don't have a single arrow in my arsenal to throw at you. I'm not doing any happy jigs either, because this is a very sad, sad situation.
HOWEVER.
Your present mood is what is technically called a 'BOUNDARY.' You've found it. You've drawn your line in the sand, and in part, this is where your peace is coming from. You know what you can take, and you know what you are no longer willing to take. For a very long time, you have been owning your wife's problem as your own. From the above description, it sounds like you are no longer willing to do that.
Regardless of what comes, you have stood up for yourself and have said, 'no more.' It's not a bad place to be. It doesn't mean that it's not going to get scary, it doesn't mean that you won't hurt, it doesn't mean that your marriage IS over, or that it isn't over... it simply means that your wife is now crysal clear on what you will and will not tolerate anymore.
As you have said, the ball is firmly in HER court.
My heart breaks for you that it has had to come to this. But for you, I can't tell you how, well, relieved I guess I am that you no longer put all of this on your shoulders. You are a man worthy and deserving of reciprocal love -- in ALL its forms. Move forward for yourself and your son. If your wife wakes up and can salvage things, I think that would be tremendous. But as you have said, you can't wait for her. You must put yourself first, and you must always put yourself first, for that is the only way you can truly love another, unselfishly.
I've missed you. I hope you keep posting, and we'll try to support you through this as best as we are able.
