Who knows what she is thinking. But my adivce is keep documenting everything. make the judge's job easy, have a very clear, consistant story for the judge. Don't muddy the waters. "My W has shown she cannot provide a safe home for my kids." End of story. Go for full custody. If you say, she can't provise a safe home, but you are OK w/ 50/50 you contradict yourself. A judge will do what they see fit, but if you contradict yourself you will end up with less, and your kids will suffer.
Also, avoid going out with your lady friend at night. Be up front and tell her exactly why. You want your kids and your STBXW is trying to use her against you. It isn't fair, but someitmes life isn't . She will understand.
Thanks I agree with you keep the kids job #1.
Last edited by 40andsadintexas; 09/07/1003:28 PM.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
I have to see the stbexw at the kids school tomorrow. I guess I will have a starched shirt, smell good, and be happy. She always wonders what I am up to when I act like that
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
I went to the program at the kids school this morning all smiles, boots shined, shirt starched, smelling good, and when I walked in she turned the other way wouldn't even look at me. LOL she must have had a fight with one of her boyfriends who knows its just kind of funny the way she acts sometimes. Oh well I hope it was something I did (Like not being her door mat) thats irritating her. I made funny smiles at my twin in the program and he laughed and pointed at me telling everyone that there's my Daddy. When I left I hugged my twin and left she followed me out did not look my way who knows whats up with her.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
Yesterday morning my stbexw called me @ 7:00am and told me that one of the twins had a program at school, and the other twin had a program today, but she could not be at the first one because her mom was going into the hospital for surgery. Since my in laws are avoiding me and enabling my wife I did not ask her about her mom. I went to the twins program this morning she was there she didn't even look at me so I just acted happy and didn't speak to her either. This afternoon she has D10 call me at work to tell me grand ma had surgery, and papa is in the hospital with lung problems, I did not ask D10 any questions but the stbexw was talking over D10 telling her to tell me hi. I guess she's mad because I didn't ask about her parents oh well she wanted me out of her life so thats where I am headed.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
Yea tonight I get my kids. I’m not sure what we are going do but I have them. I miss my kids not seeing them is 200 times harder than letting go of the stbex. Hope everyone has a good night.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
I am 95% sure my marriage is over, my stbex has not given me one single action that makes me think any different. When we first separated I made a couple of mistakes with a old girlfriend, I still see the old girlfriend but have not made any repeat mistakes since the end of June. I know its morally wrong what I did because I am still legally married. I am also trying to get my kids away from her because she keeps taking my kids around all the OM, so if I'm messing around that’s kind of like the pot calling the kettle black. I think I have pretty much detached, I love the time I spend with my kids I think I relate to them much better now than I did when I was at home, I exercise and hang out with some old friends, but something is missing. When you sure your marriage is over when is it ok to start dating, that’s my moral dilemma. Anyone want to weigh in with there feelings on this?
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
When you sure your marriage is over when is it ok to start dating, that’s my moral dilemma. Anyone want to weigh in with there feelings on this?
I think this is a really personal thing/choice. If you are ready, go for it. If you are not completely over your stbx or ex, don't go there. If you want to want til D is final, then do it. Everyone will have a different response for this.
Dating is a dilemma. It is right when it is right for you. Do it when you are done with your marriage, and are mentally and emotionally there. Keep the kids out of new relationships until the divorce is finalized, especially since they are young. Dating is great for PMA, GAL, and getting on with your life. I say go for it. There are many who do not agree. Just my 2 cents.
Part of me says this is one way to get over them, the other part says you’re a cheater just like her. Last night after I dropped the kids off I had dinner with the old ex girlfriend and I enjoyed the conversation, her big eyes when she talked, grabbing my hand and arm when she talked to me. It could have gone farther but it didn’t, but I woke up this morning wondering what to do. I don’t have a answer.
Originally Posted By: soleil
Originally Posted By: 40andsadintexas
When you sure your marriage is over when is it ok to start dating, that’s my moral dilemma. Anyone want to weigh in with there feelings on this?
I think this is a really personal thing/choice. If you are ready, go for it. If you are not completely over your stbx or ex, don't go there. If you want to want til D is final, then do it. Everyone will have a different response for this.
I am detached from stbex but not over her, there is no way I can be over 13 years or 1/3 of my life with her in 3 months. I still love her and would leave the door open for reconciliation on my terms, but I do not think there is any chance of this happening.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
40, I am going through that same dating dilemma. Initially I was thinking take a break and be on my own for a while but agree with the person who said it is good for PMA and GAL.
Our spouses are already doing it so we are either officially separated or in an open marriage. Right now I am thinking there is no harm in it if it feels ok. Our M 's are effectively over except for some microscopic chance that they will have a change of mind after some time and we will take them back. I for one don't want to put my life on hold waiting for someone who explicitly told me that she doesn't want to be with me without giving any reason.
Whether or not we have dated someone in the interim is not really going to affect this except that we may find someone we like better and decide the M is not for us either. Is that bad ?
