"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Your H sounds confused. Keep being the beautiful, confident, warm person that you are. H may see you as a safe place to land when he comes out of the fog. I've been reading some of Wonka's posts. She says that even though she didn't remember specific things her partner did while she was in the fog, she DOES remember that she always felt that her W was a safe haven.
BTW Eric,...........did you know that it's possible to make popcorn without a microwave???????
Hey Eric - the FOCUS IS ON ME....but I'm allowing my self "to wonder" when H does weird things. I'm really pretty detached where OW is concerned....just observing....and journaling.
I'm old enough to remember the era of the "8-track"....never "invested" in one LOL.
GAG - thank you my kind friend.....I feel that H sees me as his safe place....still. Just a feeling.
Spending lots more time with H lately.....after telling him last week that I'm willing to give business a final push and outlining a plan of action....dividing tasks...and really keeping on top of him. Hopefully he will try. I'm not sure if he is capable, but I have to try. I asked for meetings 2x week and I'm really trying to involve him and motivate him. My anger and resentment is in check and I'm pretty good at treating him as a business partner only. No emotions showing (most of the time). OW's H told me that she is in town this week, H never admitted it to me (not that I would ask), but I really don't care. I've been solving some database problems today and must have called him about 20 times at his home office and emailed as many times at least. It needed to be solved, so I don't care if I was disturbing their little love nest.
The next few months are crucial, it's our last chance to try to save our business and I'm giving it my all.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
You sound confident and strong. Exactly how you should be. Can you run your business without him? If so, does he know that. In other words, is he replacable in your business should it come to that? Maybe he needs to see that no one is irreplacable, in work or in a relationship. No games, just the honest truth.
SA & CW - I'll need all the luck that I can get to try to revive this business....I'm taking on an additional load on the top of my regular duties....and hoping and praying that it's finally sinking in and H will put his heart into it. I just hope that it's not too little to late....
punkin - to answer your question....no I can't do his part of the business....don't have the know how....it's too technical and specialized.
Journaling - H was with me all morning...solving some programming issues and working on a marketing campaign. He was actually a big help, helped me to resolve some technical issues....I complimented him on how good he is at it (and he is)....he seemed pleased and thanked me. Called me sweetie again and petted my leg twice...I guess that was expression of happiness when we solved a complicated issue.
While we worked H asked me for something to eat (I guess no breakfast from OW), I had some muffins that I baked so offered him that and then he offered to make me one of his special latte's that he always used to make for me. The whole morning felt a lot like the old times....I was relaxed and didn't let any negative thoughts enter my mind. Blocked the whole last year and all the pain and OW out of my head. I was pretty amazed that it wasn't that difficult. He was also relaxed and seemed to enjoy working with me. After we were done he lingered around wanting to make himself coffee, but D called and wanted to be driven somewhere, so he offered to take her....if she didn't call he would have stayed longer. But I guess that it's better that he left....to end it on a good note.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Great Mila! It sounds like maybe those pesky planets are moving in the right direction again for several of us here. Hearing encouraging news from one gives hope to us all.
It IS surprising how easily it can feel like 'old times' again with our WAHs in spite of all that has happened, isn't it? That tells you something about what is possible. I am truly happy for you. This is progress forward. YEAH!!!!!!!!
- the FOCUS IS ON ME....but I'm allowing my self "to wonder" when H does weird things. I'm really pretty detached where OW is concerned....just observing....and journaling.