Need advice

[lovehurts]

If someone asks me why we're separated I would say something like "H chose to leave his family because he is having an affair with a married woman at work". Or "H chose to leave us because we didn't support his affair". Or "H is a pig who is cheating with a crackwh@re at work". Any other suggestions?

This is what I say " I invited both my H and the OW to end the affair but they refused. I didn't agree to an open marriage and can't support that in my home for the sake of my well being and my S well being."

It's a mantra. I also say things like, "my love for him as unconditional as the love for our children. I've had to take a tough love stance for everyone's protection. We can begin to work on the marriage when he decides to put his family first"

You call her a crack wh@re here - not out there. There will be plenty of people calling her names for you. You will be surprised at how many people say, "wow, you are a better woman that I am" "I could never forgive" things like that. You'll also get, "I'd kick him to the curb" "you deserve better" etc.

I am baffled by the people that remain quiet. Say nothing. Refuse to intervene in any way. I truly have only 2 people that have actually said something to him. One was his ex wife and the only thing she did was call him an a$$hole, the other was an old friend of his, new friend of mine that said "go home you idiot" then refused to talk to him again. His ex listened to his sob story (my guess is about how unhappy he was) and completely backed away. She is no help at all, in fact she is enabling him once again.

I believe it's harder to rally people on your behalf than you would think. I don't say that to discourage you and I hope your situation is different but somehow I thought I would have people really going to bat for our marriage. But that's okay, hang on to who you have, take the sound advice you'll have here and it will come. That's why we are here, right? To SAVE our marriages.