You are sounding better. Good on you for making some outward changes that you feel comfortable with. There was a popular song when I was growing up with words something like this - " Don't go changing to try to please me, you've never let me down before. Don't imagine you're too familiar and I don't see you anymore". The words of the song notwithstanding, I guess we can become complacent with the familiar and it is always good to change up things now and then, right?
I think going on vacation to Ireland is an excellent idea. The change of scenery will do you good. It will help with your detahment and serve to remind you that you can enjoy yourself without H. As a purely secondary consideration, it will also signal to your H that you are not sitting around wringing your hands. I say go for it!
As for OW, don't worry so much about what she is or isn't. It is natural to, of course, and it would be foolish not to look as clinically as possible at where she meets needs which you may thik you have neglected. This can be a useful exercise but don't focus too much on her because you can only be a better and more authentic you. You can't be anyone else. As you said "It wouldn't fit".
I think that your confidence will grow as you continue to show your husband that you deserve to be respected. Believe that you are a sexy, attractive, desirable woman and project that. He can't help but notice. If he decides that he wants back in and you still want him back, then you will both agree what steps need to be taken,what changes you BOTH need to make and take it from there.
