MLC 5 years on

[Sanderika]

Yes, Ladies and Puppy, this is a very interesting thread.

I wish I had found this website when my sitch began. I did not find it until 3 years in. I was remarkably surprised that many of the DB techniques that were coming naturally to me were highly recommended on this board.

I know that time was on my side, a friendship was re-created.

I also have become a believer that the longer the crisis the less likely a return by the MLC spouse. I think most H's eventually file for a divorce, mine has done it twice now, I am inclined to believe that he means it this time even though we have traveled miles back towards each other. I am going with that thought regardless.

I have to admit I am a very tired woman. I am quite emotionally drained and I could use some time to heal and recover. I have spent the last 3 days pondering over many things about the past, present and future. My reflections for the most part have not given me any comfort. I have decided that I am simply going to be Jxxx's Mom. I like that thought!!!

Beatrice, Your post was very interesting to me. You have described many things I thought about my H and mirror my feeling about myself.

I am going to cut the cord completely. Today, we saw my H on our way to work and school this morning. Maybe we were cruel, but neither son or I waved or looked at him. (Consequences For Actions)

WCW, I could have outlasted my H's MLC, he couldn't last.

I figure my H's MLC started around the time of his mother's death in 10/2004. That actually puts us at 6 years. Your story certainly presents hope for some who are 5-7 years into this world of pure madness.

One of the things my H has said recently was that over the past 3 months he lost his desire to do things and was very miserable and extremely unhappy. Of course, In his opinion I was the cause of all this sudden turmoil. Hence, he files for a divorce again. What he was/is experiencing is depression which I have learned is usually the last step towards the end. If I am right, I am doubly disappointed. I assumed this is when they will return if they ever do. I am now led to believe that he never will return. He is one of those who can't.

I actually believe that I am not his problem, the family is not his problem. The OW is the problem only she is too manipulative and cunning and has him snowed, snowed, snowed!! Poor H, I really feel bad for him.....

Beatrice and WCW, I would love to know more about you both, I hope we keep posting.

Thank you very much,

Sanderika