me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Hey, I'm back. Nothing major to report. Good trip away, though! Thought about WH a lot. Mainly about how he was missing out on so many "firsts" with bub. Today is Father's Day here. But it wasn't so bad -- WH was really never into Christmas and birthdays and that sort of thing.
I am worried about my sitch. Sept 09 - one year ago - was the last month that WH and I lived together. It's around 10 months that he started his affair with OW.
Piano let me share a story that is happening with a friend of mine.
A friend of mine, let's call him MA Man (lives in Massachussetts), is going through some interesting changes. His wife left him in August 09; said she didn't love him. Turns out, she had another man. A friend of hers for a few years. So she says she wants a divorce. He doesn't push for it; he tries Bo Peep and the High Road. Well they meet with a mediator in February 10 but then nothing else. She moved in with the OM at the end of May. MA Man starts dating in June. He finally meets a girl in July that he likes and they are "an item." His W acts like it's no big deal.
She does bring up divorce again in August. He doesn't fight her on it but suggests they wait until January for financial reasons. Throughout the month of August, she begins texting a lot more, calling him. A lot of the texts and calls come during the evenings (when he is with his girlfriend). Long story short, he is seeing his W start to become a little jealous and increases her communication with him. I notice that it has been 3 months since she moved in with OM.
OK so why do I tell you this? Because it has been a year+ since they have been separated. They still aren't divorced, she has moved in with OM, yet she isn't very happy anymore. When he finally detached and got a girlfriend, it rattled his W and she has been interested in him again.
It ain't over til it's over....but I think what helps it to NOT end is when we actually let go and move on. So ironically (is that a word), when we act and live as if it is over...it ain't over.
confusing or what?
In my case, there is still another month to go to mark the 3 month point of stbxh living with OW officially. YOU KNOW once people move in together, they get relaxed and let their guard down and the honeymoon is over! I am curious to see what happens. In process of divorce still...haven't submitted the custody class paperwork and stbxh hasn't asked for it.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Interesting story, NewMama! I've heard several cases like that, when the LBS moves on, the WAS suddenly snaps out of it and wants them back. It's heady to have two people wanting you. But when one leaves WAS behind? TURNAROUND!
Doesn't always happen, but sometimes it does. Unfortunately, someone's going to get hurt - either the new love interest or the WAS spouse...
I think it's possible for the WAS to do a turn around and want to come back some time down the track.
But I cannot see how that will happen when WH and I are in different Hemispheres.
I guess all I can do is keep walking into the unknown and "we'll see".
WH contacted me this morning. He received an email to be back in my country for administrational reasons in two weeks. He cannot come he says, as he has a job, is waiting for the final offer and expects to start in a week or so. He hopes the admin people can reschedule... He signs off saying he would like some news from bub.
I have to play ball.
I don't really know what or how much news to give of her. I guess the choices are make him see what he's missing out on (so lots of detail) or make him hunger for more news (be sparing on he detail).
Also, interesting note (maybe) is that he was writing from an internet cafe & doesn't expect to have access for the rest of the week. Clearly he is on holiday somewhere.
I would keep updates on Bub short and to the point. As she gets older you can do more details but if I remember right at this age she mostly sleeps, poops and babbles. You can tell him important things like her first tooth, first time crawling, etc. Milestones should be shared but the day to day details I'd keep to myself.
Last edited by Mystik; 09/08/1001:04 AM.
New thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2112303
I'm in a bind G, cos I am relying on him for this administrational thing, so I will have to say something, even if it is only a few words. Mystik - yeah, that's pretty much all she does...although she has started chomping on her hands (they call it centreing?)
Gawd, didn't mention that BIL and girlfriend are having a fight - BIL's girlfriend is being hit on by their housemate and enjoying the attention and BIL is livid with jealousy. So BIL has moved out for a few days and his girlfriend is with me. LOL! And believe me, I am not very sympathetic! What IS it about 2010??????????
