Just don't know what to do anymore

[Nvrgivup]

It has been a few weeks since I last posted and I thought I should update, as I got some great advice the last time. I am trying to follow it as closely as possible (though I admit to a slip or two). As f my last update I had had no contact at all with stbxw for about 10 days, as of now there has only been one since (dropping off the kids last friday). My slip was that I was feeling really lonely I guess after seeing her that day, and this weekend I wrote her an email. Of course there was no response, but unlike in the past I haven't felt any need to follow up that letter with a request for a response. I know now to just drop it, and realize it was my mistake in sending it in the first place.
I am looking for advice or perhaps just thoughts on this; our last phone conversation was about a month ago, and she told me that the papers were to be filed the next day, and that I would be served the following week. nearly a month later now, I have still not received them?? It has been my habit in the past to see this as a "sign" that she doesn't really want to file. Even when I know there could be several reasons why it hasn't happened yet, my default has been "hope" Am I wrong to feel this, is there another perspective or way to look at it? Second thing that happened was that on Facebook (evil) last week she changed her surname from her married name to a hyphenated maiden/married surname, and now back to her married name. I caught myself wondering "why" and again defaulted to "maybe she isn't so sure yet". How do I get over thinking or analyzing this stuff all the time.
As john28 said "time to let go of the rope" and I know he's right, I'm just trying to figure out how to do it without cutting off my hands lol.