On two ends of the world..

[FindingMyVoice]

Hi ris, hey, you know what? Maybe it would help if you give yourself a chance to catch your breath before you try to jump into any decisions.

I bet it likely feels awful for you ... a sense of urgency to fix and figure out how to make it better, and yet not knowing how and wanting to wait it out hoping it will get better? At least, that's how I felt. I thought - geez, WHY can't I just hurry up and figure this out?!

But it takes time. Oh my gosh so much time. Perhaps, just an idea, why don't you invest some time thinking about you, and what can keep you busy and excited about your own life, rather than focusing on him? When I was really in the worst of it with my H, I thought about him constantly - analyzed all our convos, cried wondering whether or not he really loved me, dreamt about him, everything, planned out how to say things, what to say when to say.... If I could go back, I would SO change that... it drained my energy, it made me lose myself in trying to figure out how I lost myself!!

It's so, so important for you right now, to think about ris. Just her! Who is she? What does she dream for her life? There's tons of goals that one can have that have nothing to do with whether or not you have a partner. Do you want to travel? Learn a new language? Run a marathon!? Do you think you can just set aside your worries about your H, even just for a day - just put them in a little box and set them up on a shelf somewhere. They'll still be there once you've had a break from them - you can deal with them then.

Just give yourself permission to dream about your own life a little.