Once person's "humiliation" is another one's "consequences." Thanks for that.
I'm going to confront her and will do so when she reaches out to me or in two weeks time, whichever comes first so that I respect her distance and space and also am not pursuing.
I'm so F'ing pissed off. The high and mighty it's not my fault attitude is a bunch of b.s. hot air. I really feel like calling her on her b.s. but I know that will pour add gasoline to the fire. I guess it's all in the delivery. She's probably rewritten me out of her life in her rewritten history. When does a WAW wake up and get a good hard dose of truth and reality?
And here I slip into the dangerous "F her" territory. Arggghh!!!
When does a WAW wake up and get a good hard dose of truth and reality?
Typically, only after they cease all contact with their affair partner. As long as they're still in contact, her brain is going to be all awash with "looooove" chemicals (PEAs), and she's really all about the FANTASY right now. Trust me, REALITY is just about the furthest thing from her mind, and she only views you as standing in the way of her pursuing her fantasy.
Once person's "humiliation" is another one's "consequences." Thanks for that.
I'm going to confront her and will do so when she reaches out to me or in two weeks time, whichever comes first so that I respect her distance and space and also am not pursuing.
I'm so F'ing pissed off. The high and mighty it's not my fault attitude is a bunch of b.s. hot air. I really feel like calling her on her b.s. but I know that will pour add gasoline to the fire. I guess it's all in the delivery. She's probably rewritten me out of her life in her rewritten history. When does a WAW wake up and get a good hard dose of truth and reality?
And here I slip into the dangerous "F her" territory. Arggghh!!!
Man, I hear ya on that. Being lied to,"re-written" as the problem, and then finding the truth is a bit overwelming. However, one positve thing I keep telling myself, is at least MY INTEGRITY will not fail again and I no longer feel "responsible" for my W's actions.
Just so you know, I'm fighting the wrath/rage/anger bug right now too, but TRY and subdue it. If you act on emotions, like many of us, it will not help US and actually justifies their thinking.
She is going to live in her fantasy for awhile I feel. I guess that's why you put the evidence in front of them - to shock the severity of the consequences of their actions into them.
She may never wake up. I've been trying to GAL and now I know it will have to be without her for awhile and maybe forever. Tough to accept.
Engaged people / newlyweds should read these stories before they get married...
She is going to live in her fantasy for awhile I feel. I guess that's why you put the evidence in front of them - to shock the severity of the consequences of their actions into them.
She may never wake up. I've been trying to GAL and now I know it will have to be without her for awhile and maybe forever. Tough to accept.
Engaged people / newlyweds should read these stories before they get married...
I have a niece getting married in Oct. I'd tell her to do her research, but she's blind. In the PEA fog...
Hey Bk. my condolences go out to you. am going thru same. i did 2a. yest in fact. she is beside herself. i am soooo stressing that she will go for the D. ugh. reading Puppy's comments are huge comfort. the PEA's must be some sort of whopper. thank God the OMW's in my case is totally on my side. this guy himself is a total loser. makes me feel great bc she was going to choose the fantasy of that over me. i guess patience is the word. i gotta go home and see my kids, thank God i have them. i need to be me for me. you too amigo. it is zen. just be.
one time i saw that Allen recommended a really good book by Penny Tupy, Overcoming Infidelity. I need to read it as soon as I get home from work. it might help put things in perspective. it can help you too if there is indeed an OM. we are all here together. a community of like minded individuals making this journey together albeit separately. but thanks to the experienced posters like Puppy, Allen, Sandi it can make a huge diff.
what's the reasoning for holding back the intel? legal?
So far I've done the pleading and begging and apology route, maybe my 180, or 90 rather, is going the anger route.
I've never raised my voice with her and that may shock her. I've always tried to be the bigger person and be calm about things that irk me / enrage me. Maybe the passion of anger will get through to her...
The head games we play with ourselves in times like these.
I can't let her get to me twice. I feel like she is forcing some self fulfilling prophecy on me and either consciously or subconsciously is doing everything she can to make sure I realize her preconceived negative fate. She is a saboteur.
P.S. Faith - just ordered those books. Thx again and hang in there!
