I suffer from panic attacks. Actually, during my situation I was diagnosed with a situation panic disorder. Deal with this today. Don't do what I did and try and hide it or manage it on your own. Once a panic attack that severe hits your brain becomes "wired" to allow many, many more.
You mind finally realized you had no more control and your body reacted.
You did backslide (I have been following along). You seem to really stick to the advice you like and sort of bypass the rest.
Your W was nice to you for a few days because she wanted to have Retro and the mediator all wrapped up in one nice pkg. and it's much easier to do that on good terms. It wasn't about "family time" or anything else other than her getting a very good vantage point for the next phase.
You didn't break every piece of advice you were given, you just blew it all off!
Stop jumping to her every request - no more movies, no more dates, no more family outings.... it's simply not authentic at this time and you have not yet learned to manage expectations or detach.
