No one wants to spy on their spouse. But wouldn't you rather be forewarned about what was really going on? Sure, in a healthy relationship, spying would be a horrible display of distrust. But you are where you are.
And OF COURSE "she claims no affair." There's a rule here, ALL CHEATERS LIE...
Now she may not be cheating. I don't believe my W is, though it would really fit a lot of the circumstantial evidence. But there's no hard proof. Your wife may just be unhappy with you, and want to leave before she does cheat.
