Ok, I just have one more question, just because the following is a line he gave me before. What if he then says that talking on the phone simply won't happen?
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
Okay, I'm trying to see how it would play out on the example of scuba diving conversation from a few days ago. This is in short how it went:
*H sent me an email with a link to the site with activities* Me: Oh that looks really cool. H: Yeah I thought so too. Me: Yup. H: So I thought it would be a good idea, I'm just not sure when the season is. Me: I think it said *month* H: Oh that's perfect. Me: Yep. Well that scuba cert will definitely come in handy there. H: You can snorkel there too. Me: Oh really? I thought that snorkeling was only possible very near the surface but I don't know the difference. H: WOW! you want to scuba but you don't know the difference between scuba and snorkeling... really... really??
So at what point do I say that I don't want to talk about it in email? Cause at this rate I'd have to refuse any conversation other than saying Hi.
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
Quite honestly I don't know. I'm not going dark. I'm not REALLY trying to detach either, though maybe I should. The thing is that he's not suggesting a divorce or openly pushing for it, so I can't even give him the "letting go" speech. "Officially" we're making plans for vacation together in January (he booked it a few days ago) and he mentions plans for "once I move to where he is" as if this was to happen in a month or two. But at the same time he drops lines like "we shouldn't have gotten married" etc and makes no real moves towards getting me there (he needs to sort out paperwork). So really I don't know where is up and where is down in this.
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
I pulled out the sheet where I wrote my goals when I was reading DR. They relate to listening and understanding each other. Clearly these were better times when I wrote them down.
Is a goal of having a conversation with H without hearing hurtful things from him a good goal or should I break it down further?
Also, it seems to me that it goes in a circle, we have good 2 weeks (or so) and then it goes downhill for 2 weeks, then gets better again.. So what is the point of such a goal if it will happen and then go bad again?
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
